Just came back from my last trip to Italy. As I got there, I knew. There was no another one. This was...just...just it. I kinda had fun. What could I wish more? Away from this sad yet beautiful country, sea, sand, shopping, music, pizza, sun, ice cream.
First days were good. Great I could say. I had nothing to do but to lay in the sun and enjoy the great weather and the sea. Then I started to miss home. Miss my friends. Miss dancing. Trainings. Late nights reading or watching House MD. Playing with Liam, my mobile. Talking to that guy I never actually met. Reading my friends' blogs and see what they've been up to lately. Talking on the phone with my best friend like forever [we always do that].
And I wanted so bad to come back home. But then I wondered: go home...to what? 'Got no friends, got no lover' as a Placebo song sais. No one to call at 4 AM without being scared of the thought that I might wake him/her up and wonder if she/he would answer. No one to actually care when they listen to my breakdowns.
Just when I thought that this holiday would be over, so I could finally get back home there was this 20 something years old black guy. I don't regret meeting him, because he made me smile. He was the best part of the last 2 weeks. And no, I don't regret not seeing him ever again. I just enjoyed that few smiles, that couple of looks. And it was enough.
I am a complicated, missunderstood, misguided type of girl. I don't trust people, because they hurt me over and over again. I am afraid of this world and what it could turn me into. I don't want to die, but I ain't keen on living either and I need to feel real love. I do.
[I'm sorry if you don't agree, or if you didn't know I feel this way. But I do. And there's nothing we can do about it.]
You can't find a reason. Cant' find a meaning in it, because sometimes there isn't any. Sometimes...this is all there is...
First days were good. Great I could say. I had nothing to do but to lay in the sun and enjoy the great weather and the sea. Then I started to miss home. Miss my friends. Miss dancing. Trainings. Late nights reading or watching House MD. Playing with Liam, my mobile. Talking to that guy I never actually met. Reading my friends' blogs and see what they've been up to lately. Talking on the phone with my best friend like forever [we always do that].
And I wanted so bad to come back home. But then I wondered: go home...to what? 'Got no friends, got no lover' as a Placebo song sais. No one to call at 4 AM without being scared of the thought that I might wake him/her up and wonder if she/he would answer. No one to actually care when they listen to my breakdowns.
Just when I thought that this holiday would be over, so I could finally get back home there was this 20 something years old black guy. I don't regret meeting him, because he made me smile. He was the best part of the last 2 weeks. And no, I don't regret not seeing him ever again. I just enjoyed that few smiles, that couple of looks. And it was enough.
I am a complicated, missunderstood, misguided type of girl. I don't trust people, because they hurt me over and over again. I am afraid of this world and what it could turn me into. I don't want to die, but I ain't keen on living either and I need to feel real love. I do.
[I'm sorry if you don't agree, or if you didn't know I feel this way. But I do. And there's nothing we can do about it.]
You can't find a reason. Cant' find a meaning in it, because sometimes there isn't any. Sometimes...this is all there is...